An Open Letter to Pricks Who Wear Retarded Kanye West Style Glasses

Dear Pricks Who Wear Retarded Kanye West Style Glasses,

Well, now it’s become clear that you know who I am, and are acutely aware of my planet sized hatred of all of you.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know these glasses were inspired by that wonky jawed egotistical talent vacuum when I first saw them, but that does go quite a way to explain some of what the actual fuck is wrong with you people. George Bush doesn’t care about black people? What you mean is people with an ounce of intelligence don’t give an AIDS fuck about Kanye West who is coincidentally black. I pretty much hate all people because Kanye West is one, as are all you little fuckbags who wear his arse specs. Don’t ever say I discriminate.

In fact, don’t ever say anything.

I mean, there are enough taboos for you to break with regular sunglasses, do you really need the extra dickness? What was wrong with just wearing your sunglasses indoors? Or at night? I’m fairly sure that before these twat-slats were released to general sale you were probably the guy we all looked at and hoped you would walk into something. Let’s be honest, in this country there’s probably only 30 odd days total that you even need sunglasses. I’m sure this fact makes the average cost per hour quite high compared to international sunglass wearers, but still, get your extra wear during the day. Outside. With real sunglasses. Or at least well away from me.

I bet you’re that guy who wears sunglasses on the tube. I mean, what THE FUCK is that about? You cruising for bitches on the tube? Hows that working out for you? How have you not learned yet that NOBODY TALKS ON THE TUBE. In a group of nobody talking to nobody, how likely is it that anybody is going to talk to the guy wearing sunglasses on the motherfucking tube?

Hell, I even saw a black dude wearing these glasses the other day. Even he couldn’t pull them off. Even a black dude looked like a fucktard wearing these things. You don’t stand a chance. You know what’s even worse? He was wearing pink ones.

I think we can tell a lot from your choice of face-wear. Like the star of David in Nazi Germany only you idiots choose to wear this. We can tell you’re bad at science, we can see that socially you’re about as useful as a bag of broken hammers and you’re clearly racist as you’re trying to look as good as black people. We can deduce from this that you’re likely to end up fucking skanks in the toilets at the job center so they can get more benefits by having more children they can neglect to the point that 20 years down the line they’ll probably end up wearing the same fucking glasses you’re wearing now, mouthing off in the street to people, claiming they could take 3 of us in a fight but actually struggling with one at a time.

Here’s an idea, next time its sunny why dont you test the effects of your fantastic glasses by staring at the sun through a magnifying glass, maybe that’ll burn some sense into your retinas so you can realise that your glasses look about as good as my face whenever the media mentions Jade Fucking Goody.

Next time, I’ll rip your fucking head off.

Chris