Dear the Other gingerchris,
To be fair, I'm not entirely sure there's just one of you, but I like to imagine there is. See, in my head, every time I go to register at a website and am told that the username 'gingerchris' is not available, I know it's you mocking me. Laughing at your amazing speed to sign up to websites quicker than me.
Like just now when I went to sign up to Quake Live, which I thought was a recently launched site. Imagine my furious rage when I'm presented with the ever familiar error 'The username gingerchris is already in use'. FFFUUUUCKK YOU.
I dont care about Ginger Chris, GingerChris or even Gingerchris. I'm only concerned with you, you lowercase gingerchris one word no space using bastard (not me, the other one).
I'm sure a few years ago you were pissed off that you couldn't get myspace.com/gingerchris, I hope you were equally fuming when you couldn't get twitter.com/gingerchris and I'm still mightily proud of my last.fm account for gingerchris.
But then you went ahead and stole the Xbox Live gamertag, the gmail account, the youtube account & the yahoo account. I cant even remember how to log into Flickr because you make it so fucking hard for me.
I'm sure we probably have a lot in common. The ginger abuse at school. People calling you names that rhyme with Chris. The ginger abuse outside of school. The ginger abuse later in life. But none of that matters to me now. See, right now you and I are locked in an endless battle of good vs evil. You are my nemesis. My purpose in life is to defeat you. I will take you down you ginger prick.
I'm coming for you. Google has given up a lot of details on you…
- I know you like skins enough to sign up for a skins forum…
- I know you're a 38 year old single male from London who is desperate enough to go on a dating site…
- I know you're a member of a linux forum
- I know you're a ghostbusters fan forum member
You know what, actually maybe you're not such a great adversary. I'll just stick to signing up for stuff as realgingerchris because I am the fucking real one and you're some copy cat bastard. People like you, Cilla Black and Geri Halliwell give gingers a bad name. And Mick Hucknall and Anne Robinson. Oh and Catherine Tate. That fat bird off Coronation Street as well. Also Bianca off Eastenders and Chris Evans (is that you?). Oh Christ, maybe we deserve these years of abuse.
Fuck you,
Chris
PS. Dont forget the one that ruins Girls Aloud photos.
